"Welcome to Saipan -- The Mexico of the Pacific."
"Welcome to Saipan -- Unless You're from 20/20."
"Welcome to Saipan -- We Make Guam Look Real Good."
"Welcome to Saipan -- Striving for Mediocrity."
"Welcome to Saipan -- We Apologize in Advance."
"Welcome to Saipan -- Warning! If you die here, weíll dig you up after 55 years and release your plot."
"Welcome to Saipan -- We avenge WWII one Japanese tourist at a time."
"Welcome to Saipan -- Where your employment is as secure as our tap water is reliable and potable."
"Welcome to Saipan -- Home of the Whopper, er, of the Cross-Cultural Misunderstanding."
"Welcome to Saipan -- You get what you pay for."
"Welcome to Saipan -- If we can't refute your logic, we can always declare you Persona Non Grata!"
"Welcome to Saipan -- Where America's nightmares begin."
"Welcome to Saipan -- Been There, Wish I Hadn't Done That!"
"Welcome to Saipan -- We Accept Food Stamp"
"Welcome to Saipan -- Go Back Where You Came From"
"Welcome to Saipan -- Where ignorance of the law is no excuse, unless you are a lawyer in the Attorney General's Office"
"Welcome to Saipan -- Warning! Turn Back Now!!"
"Welcome to Saipan -- Where citizens are classified into First, Seconds, Thirds, etc."
"Welcome to Saipan -- Where Laws of the Land are enacted and repealed in a matter of days!"
"Welcome to Saipan -- Love it or . . ., uh, never mind. Just leave."
"Welcome to Saipan -- Hey youíre not 'local' ... Goodbye!"
"Welcome to Saipan -- Where the Government is more polluted than the water."
"Welcome to Saipan -- We hate you already!"
"Welcome to Saipan -- Give Us Your Money Now and Get Back On The Plane!"
"Welcome to Saipan -- Hope You Brought Your Kneepads"
"Welcome to Saipan -- It's not the heat, it's the cupidity."
"Welcome to Saipan -- No vacuum cleaner in the world sucks with more force."
"Welcome to Saipan -- Tinian Sucks Too"
"Welcome to Saipan -- WE DON'T NEED ANY NEW JACK ASS HERE"
"Welcome to Saipan -- How do you spell 'releif'? How do you sepl the rest of the werds too?"
"Welcome to Saipan -- We'll Suck the Life Out of You"
"Welcome to Saipan -- Where politics is a 'blood' sport"
"Welcome to Saipan -- The New Reservation."
"Welcome to Saipan -- dba The Real Bum F*&# Egypt."
"Welcome to Saipan -- Screw Around for Six Days, Be Saved On The Seventh."
"Welcome to Saipan -- Finance A Plane Ticket Today!"
"Welcome to Saipan -- We government employees don't act like this because we don't like our jobs, we act like this because we hate you."
"Welcome to Saipan -- World HQ's for Budweiser, SPAM, Pampers, Tabasco and the Betel Nut Consortium."
"Welcome to Saipan -- 400 years of history unmarred by progress"
"Welcome to Saipan -- America's biggest welfare client"
"Welcome to Saipan -- We'd rather live on our knees than die on our feet"
"Welcome to Saipan -- You got $5 I can borrow?"
"Welcome to Saipan -- There's a reason we're America's best kept secret"
"Welcome to Saipan -- Cheap housekeepers, and if you're local and get tired of her, kill her and leave her body at one of our beautiful beaches. No judge will touch you!!"
"Welcome to Saipan -- Let Us Prey"
"Welcome to Saipan -- Don't take your eyes off your dog."
"Welcome to Saipan -- Where 'We don't do that here' is the usual answer."
"Welcome to Saipan -- Who needs street signs or trash cans?"
"Welcome to Saipan -- Are you local? You get a discount."
"Welcome to Saipan -- Now you can set your clock back 50 years."
"Welcome to Saipan -- Where the locals work hafaday!"
"Welcome to Saipan -- Didn't you read saipansucks?"
"Welcome to Saipan -- Hell on earth. Or really close to it!"
"Welcome to Saipan -- CNMI = 'Cos Not My Island"
"Welcome to Saipan -- We put the 'fun' in dysfunction”
“Welcome to Saipan -- The other Calcutta”
"Welcome to Saipan -- You smoke cigarettes, we chew it"
"Welcome to Saipan -- Enjoy yourselves, But, DON'T MESS WITH THE LOCALS!!!"
"Welcome to Saipan -- Home of the Stateless children"
“Welcome to Saipan -- The spitting image of non-work”.
“Welcome to Saipan -- We are both Sodom AND Gomorrah.”
”Welcome to Saipan -- The other West Virginia.”
”Welcome to Saipan -- Where men aren’t men and goats are scared.”
"Welcome to Saipan -- Where figuring out who your real Daddy is is part of the fun"
“Welcome to Saipan – How May We Inconvenience You Today?”
“Welcome to Saipan -- 40,000 garment workers can’t be wrong”
“Welcome to Saipan -- Where you can be all that you’re NOT!”
"Welcome to Saipan -- You Wish You Weren't Here”
“Welcome to Saipan -- Welcome to Your Nightmare!”
“Welcome to Saipan -- Got Beer? Got Bud? Got the Bucks?
“Welcome to Saipan -- Home of the Most Mindless, Laziest and Rudest”
“Welcome to Saipan -- Las Islas de los Ladrones"
“Welcome to Saipan -- Land of ‘not quite right’”
“Welcome to Saipan -- the new extension to our sister Island of Dr.Moreau”
“Welcome to Saipan -- Where Evolution is just Starting”
”Welcome to Saipan -- Where Apes are Superior to Man”
”Welcome to Saipan -- The original Planet of the Apes”
“Welcome to Saipan – Home of the Super Intelligent Race”
“Welcome to Saipan – This is your second time here? Wow, sorry, I thought before that you are a tourist (any tourist don’t come back second time :P )”
“Welcome to Saipan – 30,000 Cha-morons, ten last names”
“Welcome to Saipan -- Where the wind doesn't blow, it sucks!”
“Welcome to Saipan -- Now run like hell!”
“Welcome to Saipan -- Kindly hold sir”
“Welcome to Saipan – Where litigating is like eating with one chopstick.” (Must be a lawyer’s submission)
“Welcome to Saipan – Where any idiot can become a judge”
“Welcome to Saipan – Where you Settle for Less”
“Welcome to Saipan – What’s Your Drink Sir?”
“Welcome to Saipan – Where ‘Culture’ is More Important than the Law”
“Welcome to Saipan – You want to be new AG?”
“Welcome to Saipan – Please leave your brain at the door”
“Welcome to Saipan – Hope for the Best, Prepare for the Worst”
“Welcome to Saipan – Litterbox of the Pacific”
“Welcome to Saipan – Put the Lime in the Betelnut and Chew it All Up”
“Welcome to Saipan – Spit Happens”
“Welcome to Saipan – Home of the Bad Seeds”
“Welcome to Saipan – Federal Grants R Us”
“Welcome to Saipan – What You Don’t Finish in Hafaday You Can Finish Chamorro”
“Welcome to Saipan – Where housesitters eat your boonie cat.”
“Welcome to Saipan – Where "coral in the ear" abounds, but ENT's do not.”
“Welcome to Saipan – Where Fiesta food is to die for.”
“Welcome to Saipan – Where an invite for some authentic local food involves a can of Spam and a bottle of Tabasco sauce.”
“Welcome to Saipan – If I’d known about this place and Guam I’d have built my own island.”
“Welcome to Saipan – OMG, they ate Kenny!!! You bastards!!!”
“Welcome to Saipan – Lawn-ya, where’s the poo-gwa?”
“Welcome to Saipan – A third-world lifestyle at first-world prices (and then some).”
“Welcome to Saipan – Poised for the Twentieth Century”
“Welcome to Saipan – The Ultimate Kleptocracy”
“Welcome to Saipan – Where Affirmative Action Has Gone Berserk”
“Welcome to Saipan – Where you can be attorney general if you promise: (1) not to do your job; (2) to ignore your oath of office; and (3) to protect the corrupt officials who appointed and confirmed you.”
“Welcome to Saipan – the Shit Hole of the Pacific”
“Welcome to Saipan – Where the government takes your money, and . . . . Well, that’s it. It just takes your money.”
“Welcome to Saipan – You wanna be local? Turn off your brain”
“Welcome to Saipan – Where Chinese are speed bumps”
“Welcome to Saipan – We do Pugua right!”
“Welcome to Saipan – Where the Government Exemplifies Organized Crime”
“Welcome to Saipan – Where hafaday seems like forever and a day!!”
“Welcome to Saipan – The Whoring of America”
“Welcome to Saipan – Home of the ‘My husband/boyfriend went to Saipan and all I got was this lousy STD’ tee-shirt.”
“Welcome to Saipan – Where the family tree don't fork.”
“Welcome to Saipan – Our fish is the pamper, our bird is the fried chicken and our flower is the crushed Budweiser.”
“Welcome to Saipan – Let’s give it back to the Japanese!”
“Welcome to Saipan – Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid.”
“Welcome to Saipan – The Revenge of the CIA.”
“Welcome to Saipan – Where your worst nightmares come true.”
“Welcome to Saipan – Where hypocrites reign supreme.”
“Welcome to Saipan – Your dog or mine?"
“Welcome to Saipan – Let’s play poke her, or poke her, or poke her.”
“Welcome to Saipan – Where a ‘royal flush’ is a royal flushing”
“Welcome to Saipan – Where the rat eats the cat.”
“Welcome to Saipan – Where every non-local is a doormat.”
“Welcome to Saipan – Where rosaries are said daily for the living.”
“Welcome to Saipan – Where the father, the son, and the holy host are not related.”
“Welcome to Saipan – Where road kills usually ends up at the dinner table.”
“Welcome to Saipan – When it rains, drink it.”
“Welcome to Saipan – When it rains, it stinks.”
“Welcome to Saipan – Where ‘who's who’ is a game.”
“Welcome to Saipan – If you're from Rota, or Tinian, you're not my mother.”
“Welcome to Saipan – Where racism is inbred.”
“Welcome to Saipan – Where DNA testing is free, just ask any local for the results”
“Welcome to Saipan – Where what goes around, goes around.”
“Welcome to Saipan – Where prostitution is only illegal in Garapan.”
“Welcome to Saipan – Where your vote doesn't count.”
“Welcome to Saipan – Where even the blind can see.”
“Welcome to Saipan – Where cultures don't melt, they collide.”
“Welcome to Saipan – If you’re a chamorro, blame it on a carolinian, if you’re disabled, blame it on a chamorro.”
“Welcome to Saipan – The Bizarro World of the Pacific”
"Welcome to Saipan - America's Last Frontier"
"Welcome to Saipan - Where 50 megatons will cure everything"
"Welcome to Saipan - Where All Things Suck"
"Welcome to Saipan - Where "Borrowing" Is Elevated to Theft"
"Welcome to Saipan - Where America Ends"
"Welcome to Saipan - That's the US flag flying up there? Oh well, just
ignore it"
"Welcome to Saipan - Where Computer Classes in the Personnel Office are
run without computers"
“Welcome to Saipan – Third World and Proud of It”
“Welcome to Saipan – don’t expect too much and you won't be disappointed.”
“Welcome To SaiPan – The Illegitimate child of the U.S.”
“Welcome to Saipan – Where MVA Employees Don’t Kill All the Japanese Visitors
to our Island, Only Some of Them”
“Welcome to Saipan – Where American idiots become automatic geniuses”
“Welcome to Saipan – Where American Liberals believe they are actually helping”
“Welcome to Saipan – Where American culture is destroying a pacific race”
“Welcome to Saipan – Where Americans can see first hand the results of their ‘empire making’”
“Welcome to Saipan – Where the American way of life is killing local people with Spam, Marlboro, Budweiser and Capitalism”
“Welcome to Saipan – Where Americans think it is our fault for the way things are”
“Welcome to Saipan – Where We Are Taught We Have Free Will”
“Welcome to Saipan – We learn from the best . . . Americans”
“Welcome to Saipan – Where the unwanted of the US Mainland come to feel important”
“Welcome to Saipan – Where Americans just complain & whine instead of making a difference”
“Welcome to Saipan - bombed by the US Navy in 1944 and way overdue for it again”
“Welcome to Saipan - Cost 16,000 US casualties in 1944 - America still pays for this Island today”
“Welcome to Saipan - Japan made the locals work before WWII - No one has been able to do it since then”
“Welcome to Saipan - Japan made the locals work before WWII - I wonder where we went wrong???”
“Welcome to Saipan - Japan made the locals work before WWII - Why did we get involved???”
“Welcome to Saipan - Do you know why Japan doesn't want this Island anymore??”
“Welcome to Saipan - Check out the new EMPEROR's Palace. (picture on the T Shirt) $$ Paid by the USA $$”
“Welcome to Saipan - 29,000 Japanese Casualties, 16,000 US Casualties - more arriving
every day - Oh, So you're NEW here... Hafa...”
“Welcome to Saipan - The Mariana's trench is 30,000 feet deep 10 miles east of here - You
are now on top a 31,000 ft sea mountain - Do you feel SAFE???”
“Welcome to Saipan - Please keep your money with you at ALL times - It could save your life when you meet the locals.”
Welcome to Saipan - No turn signals, no brakelights, no problem.
“Welcome to Saipan - Please ensure your life insurance is fully paid up before you leave the Airport. Your family will thank you for it.”
“Welcome to Saipan - Uncle Sam pays for the Budweiser here!!!”
“Note to US congress - How to clear up the US deficit - Break the CNMI covenant!!!”
“Welcome to Saipan - give us your money and get out!"
“Welcome to Saipan - the land of institutionalized racism"
“Welcome to Saipan - It's not about who you know, it about who you're related to"
"Welcome to Saipan- our land, your money"
Post your submission for the slogan in the comments area below. Your entries should be short, one-liners that sum up the CNMI to you.